How to Get Unstuck in Life: 7 Practical Ways to Move Forward

“Don’t dream your life. Live your dreams.” – Author unknown

We all need dreams, don’t we? Something to strive for. Something that adds a little extra sparkle to our lives. These “somethings” fill us with hope and a glimpse of all we are destined to be.

The problem is that for many of us, dreams become rooted in our minds without branching out into something tangible. While our heads may go deep in pursuit, their yen for overthinking serves as the anchor that prevents us from taking any real action.

I’m speaking metaphorically, of course.

We don’t literally dwell in stillness. In fact, we’re in perpetual day-to-day-grind motion, raising families, working, or both. We’ve got responsibilities. Bills to pay and mouths to feed.

To keep the juggling act alive, we bid our personal ambitions a “temporary” farewell, dulling the shine of those once gleaming dreams as we store them upon a shelf in the cobwebbed recesses of our subconscious, with plans to dust ’em off and give ’em a go “someday.”

But what if someday never comes?

What if the gulf between where you are now and where you want to be just seems too daunting to cross?

First thing’s first…

That feeling of being stuck is a universal human experience.

I, too, have felt that sense of inertia. It’s akin to spinning your wheels in the mud, going nowhere while the world appears to pass you by. If you’re currently feeling stuck in life, it’s not a sign that you’re broken or adulting wrong. It’s a signal that you’re ready for a change. Psychologically, this feeling is often tied to our brain’s natural fear response, a mental paralysis that happens when the path forward seems unclear. The good news is that you have the power to break free and move forward again. In essence, the short answer to the two questions I posed above is…

It’s never too late to live the life you want.

If that just made you roll your eyes hard, I wouldn’t think less of you. I’ll admit that at first glance, this sentiment can give off a vibe that’s more meme-worthy than practical.

I get it. Who has time to find their sparkle, anyway?

If you’re like me and 99% of the population, you’re busy enough already. Or even burnt out. With all the continuous (and often repetitive) demands placed upon you, it’s common to get lost amid those daily obligations.

But that’s what you signed up for, isn’t it? When you took that job. When you said your “I-dos.” When you had children. That’s the life you created by your own design. No sense investing in yourself at this point. You gave up that right when you made those other choices.

Wait. WHAT?

Okay, that was harsh. While some might not appreciate my sarcasm (my own family is still on the fence about my so-called “wit”), my intention was to draw out the ludicrousness of thinking we’re permanently nailed down by our choices and circumstances. Or that we’re not entitled to seek enrichment. That it’s wrong or even selfish to want more.

So, let’s get something straight…

More is healthy.

More provides purpose.

Striving for more doesn’t mean you have to quit your job, abandon your family, or shirk your responsibilities. Nor does it suggest giving your existing life the proverbial middle finger. It means you’re allowed to add something to your life that’s just for you, to have a dream and go after it.

You deserve to feel fulfilled.

Maybe you already know this.

Perhaps a lifelong goal has been at the forefront of your mind for years. It may have even compelled you to write a list of affirmations, create a vision board, and imagine yourself living the dream while binge-watching clips of The Secret on YouTube.

I’ve possibly done some of these very things myself. Or all of them. Maybe.

Definitely.

I’m not discounting this stuff, by the way. Everything you add to your motivational toolbox has value. Yet it’s not so much the tools that will make a difference in your life, but the elbow grease behind them.

Therein lies the challenge.

What if you can’t get beyond the list-making phase? What if you just feel stuck?

For instance, stuck in…

the past
an unfulfilling job
bad habits
your fear
your own head

You may even decide it’s easier to live with your stuckness instead of dealing with the possible fallout of rejection and the belief (no matter how false) that maybe you’re just not good enough for the dreams you’ve conceived. If this happens, you forgo your passion and resign yourself to a life of maintaining the status quo.

That’s not living. That’s settling.

When you settle, things appear copacetic on the surface. However, in the underbelly of your soul, those “what ifs” serve to weigh you down.

But you can feel lighter, and you can start today.

Here are seven actionable, practical, science-backed ways to get unstuck and start living in alignment with your dreams.

1. Shift Your Perspective from Scarcity to Abundance by Practicing Gratitude

In my opinion, adopting an attitude of gratitude is by far the most important step you can take if you ever truly hope to make some headway in your personal progress. When you’re stuck in a rut, your focus naturally narrows to what you don’t have, what’s going wrong, and what you can’t control. Gratitude is the practice that systematically reverses this.

When you shift your focus from what you don’t have to what already do, you begin to see things in proper perspective and appreciate them.

Do you have a spouse? A partner? Children? A supportive family? Good friends? Are you healthy? Do you have a roof over your head? Food to eat? Answering yes to some or all of these questions allows for clarity, a “lifting of the fog,” so to speak, revealing a deeper cognizance of your priceless relationships and those basic human needs you never have to go without.

Consistency elevates the practice of gratitude to a form of mental training that can naturally rewire your brain. Research in positive psychology confirms that gratitude effectively reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Furthermore, it can create lasting changes in the brain’s prefrontal cortex, heightening your responsiveness to positive experiences.

Actionable Step: Start a Gratitude Journal

Spend just 15 minutes before bed jotting down a few grateful sentiments. This simple exercise forces you to scan your day for positives, and studies have shown it can even lead to better and longer sleep.

2. Cultivate Realistic Optimism to Build Resilience

We all act like Negative Nellies on occasion. It’s kind of hard to avoid when circumstances can turn on a dime. Your stick-to-itiveness will be tried and tested again and again. There will be times when you’ll feel like giving up. It’s going to happen, and when it does, you’ll be tempted to blame others or slip into a convenient world-is-conspiring-against-me temperament.

But don’t give in. Don’t withdraw. Don’t hide behind passivity. Stay true to your vision. The key is to cultivate realistic optimism —  not ignoring life’s difficulties but building a resilient belief in your ability to cope with them. This is a skill that takes practice, and since its mastery happens on your timeline, you can keep working at it as needed without pressure or deadlines.

Research has shown that optimists are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors like regular exercise and seeking medical care, which contribute to a greater sense of well-being. Take responsibility for your stagnation so you can get on the other side of it.

Actionable Step: Reframe Your Setbacks

When you face a challenge, consciously reframe your thoughts. Instead of thinking, “This always happens to me,” ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” or “What is one small step I can take to improve this situation?” This simple shift moves you from a state of helplessness to one of empowerment.

3. Regain a Sense of Control with Achievable Goal Setting

Lists can be extremely helpful, but keep them brief and specific so you don’t become overwhelmed. Composing a ten-page Word document detailing all the things you want to achieve in life might seem like a good idea in theory. But then seeing it all laid out in front of you in 12pt Britannic Bold can actually feel rather intimidating. That feeling of overwhelm is a common cause of paralysis. Psychologists call this “learned helplessness,” a state where past experiences have taught your brain to expect failure, causing you to feel powerless even when change is possible.

The antidote is to reclaim your agency through small, achievable wins. This is where the science of Goal Setting Theory comes in. Studies convincingly demonstrate that setting specific, challenging (but achievable) goals leads to far higher performance and motivation than vague intentions.

I suggest writing 1-3 attainable benchmarks each day. You can even scribble them on a Post-it, which is what I do. Just a few tasks to accomplish in a 24-hour period sets you up for the successful completion of a few more tasks the next day. Each completed task, no matter how small, sends a signal to your brain that you are capable of making progress, which builds the momentum you need to keep going.

Actionable Step: Create “Implementation Intentions”

Go beyond just listing your tasks. Create a specific plan for when and where you will act. For example, instead of “go for a walk,” your goal becomes, “I will walk around the block for 20 minutes immediately after I finish lunch.” This simple tweak dramatically increases your chances of follow-through.

4. Leverage Social Support for Motivation and Accountability

I remember when I shared my dream of becoming an author with my husband back in 2012. He was the first person I ever told. I worried that blurting, “Hey babe, I think I’ll write romance novels for a living” would be met with either a sourpuss or insane laughter and a rebuttal along the lines of “Umm…okaaaaay. What’s next? A pink Corvette and a boob job? Be sure to let me know when your midlife crisis is over.”

Of course, he would never really say such things to me, and his actual response was sincerely supportive, which quickly put my mind at ease. Knowing I had someone in my corner made all the difference in the world.

More than a feeling, it’s a core psychological need. Humans are fundamentally social creatures, and a strong support system is essential for mental health. Research shows that having supportive people in your life acts as a powerful buffer against stress and reduces the risk of depression and anxiety.

Give voice to your personal goals. It’s okay to ask for help. Tell your spouse, your partner, your parents, your kids, your best friend, or all of the above. Just be sure these people are positive influencers who will lift you up and cheer you on. A word of caution: Some people won’t want you to succeed, especially if they’re feeling stuck themselves. People like this are toxic. You would do well to avoid them if at all possible.

Actionable Step: Schedule an Accountability Check-In

Identify one or two people in your life who are positive influencers. Schedule a specific time to share one of your goals with them. Explicitly ask them to check in with you in a week to see how you’re progressing.

5. Break the Cycle of Anxiety by Systematically Facing Your Fears

Fear is the invisible wall that keeps you stuck. Even if you’ve heard, “don’t be afraid” or “ignore your fears” from well-meaning people approximately a gazillion times throughout your life, it’s like being told to stop laughing when The Big Bang Theory is on. Not gonna happen.

It’s not a crime to be scared. Because if you weren’t, then your dreams wouldn’t be important to you.

Confession: My hand shakes uncontrollably every time I press “publish” on Amazon, my blog, or anywhere else. And I still get heart palpitations while awaiting feedback on something I’ve written. Every. Single. Time.

I don’t think that will ever go away. Even so, I could eventually apply the following mantra…

Whatever happens one way or the other, I’m going to be okay.

It’s possible to get comfortable being uncomfortable. If I can do it, so can you.

Your fears may look something like mine:

ridicule
rejection
being alone
repeating history
crowded social settings (the struggle is real, folks)

Whether it’s the fear of failure, judgment, or the unknown, the natural instinct is to avoid the things that scare you. But here’s the paradox: avoidance is the fuel that makes fear stronger. Every time you sidestep a feared situation, you reinforce the brain’s belief that it is a genuine threat.

This stems from our brain’s “fight-or-flight” response, a primitive survival mechanism. The most effective way to recalibrate this system is not to run from fear, but to gradually and systematically face it. This principle, known as exposure therapy in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), teaches your brain that you can cope.

Even though all those things that scare you will try their damnedest to hold you back, acknowledging them will get you a lot farther in life than wasting time and energy in search of a cure. Otherwise, you become a slave to your fears, and they win.

If you hit a wall, don’t despair. It’s HARD. Cut yourself some slack when those demons get the better of you. Just remember that every day, every hour, every minute, and every second is a chance to try again.

Actionable Step: Create a “Fear Ladder”

• Identify a fear that is holding you back.
• Break it down into a list of small, manageable situations related to that fear.
• Rank them from least scary (10/100) to most terrifying (100/100).
• Start with the easiest step. Put yourself in that situation and stay there until your initial fear level reduces by about half.
• Move to the next step on your ladder once you’re comfortable. The gradual process proves to your brain that you are in control.

6. Find Fulfillment in the Process, Not Just the Outcome

Enjoy the journey. It’s a cliché for a reason. Every step you take in the name of personal progress is cause for celebration. Fulfillment needn’t come solely from your arrival at that final destination. In fact, “destintation addiction” is a primary cause of feeling stuck and burnt out.

The solution is to shift your focus from the outcome to the process by practicing mindfulness and cultivating intrinsic motivation. Mindfulness is the simple act of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It allows you to find moments of joy and learning in the daily tasks that lead to your goal. This connects directly to intrinsic motivation, the drive to do something because the activity itself is interesting or satisfying, rather than for some external reward. When you are energized by the work itself, you have a far more sustainable source of fuel than willpower alone.

Fluctuating levels of frustration are to be expected. Trust me, if it were easy, you wouldn’t want it, anyway. But every hurdle you scale doesn’t have to feel like pulling teeth. There is power in hard work and persistence. And pride. There is sparkle-worthy happiness you can revel in now.

Yes, now.

Have you ever said to yourself, “I’ll finally be happy once I…”

Me too. That’s because many dreamers trap themselves in a mindset of delayed well-being.

But guess what? You don’t have to wait.

Whether you’re taking a course, learning a trade, or meeting new people, you should praise those accomplishments. Every day you get out of bed to strive for whatever it is you’re after is a win.

Actionable Step: Practice “Process-Oriented” Thinking

For one of your daily goals, instead of focusing on just getting it done, focus on the experience of doing it. If your goal is to write, pay attention to the feeling of the keyboard under your fingers or the satisfaction of crafting a good sentence. This practice helps you find fulfillment in the journey, making the pursuit of your dreams an enjoyable part of your life right now.

7. Define Your Core Values to Create an Authentic Life

Become your own definition of success.

We all need that special something — a passion, a creative outlet, a career path — that enriches our sense of self. Something that can coexist with, yet is separate from, marriage and kids, etc. We need to feel successful on a singular, personal level. Yet perhaps the deepest reason we feel stuck is a misalignment between our daily actions and our core personal values. You might achieve a goal but feel empty and unfulfilled if the path to get there required you to compromise what truly matters to you. This disconnect, known as “value incongruence,” creates a quiet but persistent stress that drains your energy and sense of purpose.

While meeting external objectives is undoubtedly productive, lasting success is more about living in alignment with your values. Values act as an internal compass, guiding your decisions with clarity and integrity. When your goals and values are in harmony, you experience greater well-being and motivation because your efforts resonate deeply with who you are.

Though society uses things like job titles, padded wallets, trophy homes, and fancy cars to define success, it really has little to do with financial wealth or the accumulation of “stuff” or how many credentialing initials follow a person’s last name. Nor am I saying it’s wrong to want these things. But they don’t, and won’t, reflect your worth as a human being.

So, when is it safe to consider yourself a “success?”

Any time you want.

Are you a good person with a generous heart? Do you pay it forward? Care about others? Give time and attention to the people who count on you?

If so, then I’d say you’ve already knocked it out of the park.

Actionable Step: Identify Your Top 5 Core Values

Reflect on moments when you have felt most alive, proud, or fulfilled. What values were you honoring? (Examples include creativity, security, family, adventure, service, honesty). Write these values down and keep them visible. Before making a big decision, ask yourself: “Does this align with my core values?” This simple question is the key to creating a life of purpose and meaning.

Frequently Asked Questions

What to do when you feel stuck in your career?

Feeling stuck in a career is common. Start by using the steps above to identify your core values (Step 7). Does your current role honor them? Then, use achievable goal setting (Step 3) to explore small changes, like taking an online course, networking with someone in a field that interests you, or updating your resume.

How to stop feeling stuck in the past?

Whether you still ruminate over a breakup, a slip-up, or a chance not taken, feeling stuck in the past is often rooted in fear and regret. Practicing gratitude (Step 1) can help shift your focus to the present moment. If specific fears are holding you back, systematically facing them with a “fear ladder” (Step 5) can help you break their hold and move forward.

Why does change feel so scary?

Change feels scary because it represents the unknown, which our brains are hard-wired to perceive as a potential threat. In effect, this triggers a “fight, flight, or freeze” response. Recognizing that this is a natural biological reaction is the first step. By taking small, manageable steps toward your goals, you can prove to your brain that you can handle the uncertainty, reducing the fear over time.

In conclusion…

The power is within you to answer your dream’s call. With each step you take, celebrate every win, big and small. And remember: No matter how long it takes to get to where you want to go, as long as you keep moving, you’re already living the dream.

Copyright © S. A. Healey